1. slomps:

    slomps:

    slomps:

    Apparently if you saw yourself in person, you wouldn’t recognise yourself

    So my biggest question is, WHAT THE FUCK do I look like

    And do I look hot

    (via oprahsleftnipple)

     

  2. catceleste:

    hey can someone send me some recs for novel-length fics that are specific to my stringent tastes and are completed with an ending i approve of

    (via oprahsleftnipple)

     
  3. iknowgallifreyan:

    I have one really photogenic cat and one idiot

    (via oprahsleftnipple)

     
  4. vinegod:

    When you trip and your spaghetti falls out your pocket by KingBach

    (via oprahsleftnipple)

     
     

  5. tittily:

    my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’

    (via oprahsleftnipple)

     
  6. pennylessproud:

    when the teacher comes around to collect your homework

    (via joshpeck)

     
     

  7. So you like chemistry puns…

    aceinnatailsuit:

    captainriz:

    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

    HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE

    IT’S LIKE THE WHO’S ON FIRST OF SCIENCE JOKES

    (via helenaisalwaysfun)

     
  8. fucktonofghosts:

    #what does cat mean #this wasn’t covered in driver’s ed #oh god somebody take the wheel

    im sorry i had to preserve your tags

    (via joshpeck)

     

    1. Society: DONT HAVE SEX. IF YOU DO THE SEX THEN TH DEATH WILL GET YOU. ABSTINENCE. NEVER THE PPEEPEES TOUCHING.
    2. Asexual: I don't like sex.
    3. Society: WHAT THE FuCK IS WROnG WITH YOU??? """"DONT LIKE SEX"""???? HOW?? SEX IS A BASIC HUMAN NEED. EVERYONE DOES THE SEX.
     
  9. (Source: crunchier, via amazed)